Apparently, updating this blog is now becoming a monthly thing.  I do hope I can make up for the scarcity of entries with a new layout. I've found this gorgeous Gunslinger layout, and I vow to use it very soon because Roland so rocks my shorts.

Anyway, I haven't been updating because I haven't been at home for most of the sem break. I would be terribly pleased if you'll think of my social life as blossoming with that statement.

Of course it isn't, since I'm a loser through and through. But many things did happen--so many that it would be too tiresome to recount--and these past few weeks have been a wild emotional ride for me. I am finishing this short story (for the NJ) based on one of the most important of the events that transpired, and I will post it here very, very soon. Hope you'll get the chance to read it, since I am very nervous and would appreciate your comment about it.

Actually that short story is well on its way on becoming a novel. It is already five freaking pages! At this rate, I would have a grand total of zero readers (aside from my ever loyal friends, that is). People would take one look at the obscene amount of words and run off screaming at the opposite direction.

And dammit, here's something that bugs me: ginawang holiday ang Monday. Tang inis na yan, one day na lang tuloy ang Completion namin! That single day of completion happened this 26, and guess how many gave birth that day.

One. There was only a lone woman who gave birth at Tondo in our shift. Life is unfair, and also, very cruel. Ayokong maghabol ng case eh, mga leche. >:O

Anyway this is the real reason I blogged today:



Haha, so true. XD

Of course, this post is gonna be long. And because it is, I'll put it under several cuts so as to not scare potential readers by the obscene amount of paragraphs.

*points at the icon*

Oh Deathly Hallows, four chapters in, and I was already wailing like an oversized toddler. It just fills me with so much grief, this mounting sense of finality. It's like watching a dear friend slowly step back farther and farther away into nothingness, and I'm left flailing about, clutching at the straws.

I still haven't finished reading it though. At chapter 13 I realized that this ebook really just won't do and I have to have the real book; I have to have something tangible to caress and hold and sleep with (because, you know, I sleep with books). Haaaay dammit kelan ko ba mahihiram yung DH ng classmate ko? T_T

I just have to point this out though: JKR sucks at romance. This line made me laugh so hard that a grain of kanin lodged somewhere in my nasopharynx and nearly killed me: "As he said it, a vivid picture formed in Harry's mind of Ginny in a white dress, marrying a tall, faceless, and unpleasant stranger." ROFLMAO. XDDD Harry is so flaming gay and very, very weird.

Anyway, as tribute to Harry Potter, I'm currently making a poem. Can't seem to get farther than the first stanza though.

If I manage to stop poking idly into these papers and finish that damn poem before the 28th, it might be published on the Nursing Journal. Which brings me to the second and most important point of this update, and the thing that I should have bragged about long, long ago if not this crazy internet access:

Nyahaha. Finally may org na kong matino! Oh joy! XD

P.S. To whom it may concern: sana mas lumakas pa ang ulan, yung ala great flood siguro nung time ni Noah, para macancel na yung practice mamaya for Lit. Please please.

After that appallingly toxic duty last Thursday and Friday, I knew I was going to come down with something. My patient suffered from stroke, was completely bed bound, had been completely bed bound for almost a month, and--though I know this would make me sound like the most bastard prospective nurse in history--a fucking enormous burden. I believe many nursing students would agree with me when I say morning care is dreadful business.

Bed bath and occupied bed making are okay, I'm not complaining about that. But when I had to do perineal care as well--fucking stick my gloved hands into another person's ass to clean every bit of shit--I felt like I was staring into the abyss. And when I had to do oral care, had to be in such close proximity from that orifice of putrid breath, I felt like losing my will to live. And all that pus that came out when the doctors cleaned the aperture in her stomach where her PEG was inserted--oh my god, I can never eat Brazo de Mercedes again. Ever.

Plus I had to perform continuous TSB, monitor her VS every hour, regulate her IV, administer required feedings and medications, do charting, working NCPs, and nurses notes, which of course deprived me of a much deserved rest.

And this had been on for weeks, this torture. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, I'll be dragging my feet towards the Neuro ward, and the next Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, I'll be there again, death and misery still hovering like ghosts, trying to take care of a client who can't even open her eyes, whose BP shoots up to 260. It's depressing really, to be in this position: to be always be with this patient, to have this unique vantage point to formulate assessment and prognosis. I just, you know, I just really want her to live, but then when I read her chart, I can't see any clear improvement.

This is the reason why I hate ward duties. Really, really hate it.

Anyway, that's the introduction. This is going to be a long entry, as could be well expected from me after a required hiatus. So anyway, I did came down with something yesterday. After somehow managing to come home from school short of leaning against Vania and Mark, I took my temperature and my eyes became the size of dinner plates: my temperature was 39.2! No wonder the walls seem to be closing in on me and my depth perception was all screwed up, my brain was practically fried!

So I called my mom, voice faltering as one is wont to do when overcome with relief of finally hearing the voice of someone who can make things right, and she was distracted and annoyed at that time and she asked me, "Anong gagawin ko? Ano bang gamot dyan, di ba Tempra Forte? At tsaka banyos?"

I can't exactly explain how this hit me with such force, because I suck at articulating emotions. All I know was at that time I thought I don't need advice, I just need someone who'll care. After I put down the phone and gathered my self, I turned on my nurse mode because no one else would nurse me, and began nursing interventions on my self. I felt miserable.

A paracetamol tablet, three tepid sponge baths, a cocktail of calamansi juice, gatorade, and water, and many other attempts to facilitate heat dissipation later, my mom finally arrived. I still wasn't any better, in fact as I type this entry, I'm still intermittently febrile, but a mother's presence has a strangely calming and relieving effect, better than the nursing interventions I've performed on my self. I just really needed a mom.

Anyway, since I'm starting to feel like a blogging Hufflepuff, I have to start writing about being a bitch to achieve some sort of balance.

Jezzah (referring to a blockmate): Siya yung madalas leader ng RLE group namin, pero hindi naman nirerecognize ng mga tao yung authority niya.

Another time

Blockmate: Yan ang ayaw ko sa yo: ang sungit mo.
Jezzah: Eh anong pake ko?

I swear, I wasn't this bitchy in high school. I blame it on being overtired, and because some of my block mates are persistently being annoying and I don't have the time to be patient.

And oh, turns out I have a superior IQ. I finally hauled my ass and approached Tita Net, our guidance counselor, to get my result. She was  baffled why I wasn't a dean's lister, and was sprouting comments that satisfied my enormous ego and prophecies that sort of made me panic a little. I act like a ditz and I don't often speak my mind and my brain usually adapts an idle mode, but I actually am a secret genius, you know.

Also there's this thing I'm really nervous about, but don't want to talk about now because if nothing comes out of it I shall be crushed and I'll have to repress or opt for a lobotomy, and it would be difficult to do that if more people would know about it.

After rereading Wuthering Heights, I remembered why I nursed an aversion to classics, specifically to romance classics from the 19th century and prior: the characters are far too slow. Most of the time, the Great Tragic Plot Point is not actually inevitable, and it leaves me thinking "You deserve that, you fuckers, for not using your brains."

Aurgh. Don't listen to me; I'm just in my black moods. I did enjoy the novel when I first read it, and I've secretly rechristened my tiny stuffed tiger as Sir Hareton Baldingmane Grifoun because I love Hareton Earnshaw so much.

Anyway I've downloaded Mika's songs, and I hastily deleted most of it. His songs make me think of...glitter. And really tight pants. And shimmying. And sudden head turns towards the camera to mouth the lyrics type of MTV gimmick. Just listen to Relax, Take it Easy to take my meaning. To me it sounds very much like I Will Survive, the gay anthem version. Methinks Mika's gay.

[EDITED: OMG HE IS!! Holy shoot, the Savage Garden guy is, as well? @_@ OMG, really, guys who do falsetto = gay ]

Oh wow. A town of books. Someone take me to Wales!

Anyway, I'm starting to think I'm fated to chronicle mankind's stupidest and most embarrassing moments. Two days ago, while walking from Sta Lucia to RP:

GUY: Strides manfully; grins at me broadly
JEZZAH (to herself): Whu-?
GUY: Still strides towards me and is all SPARKLY!
JEZZAH (to herself): Some weird sonofabitch.
CAR: Hurtles towards the guy
GUY: Is unaware
JEZZAH: Ohmaaygaaaaad masasagasan yung mama!
CAR: Stops
GUY: !!!!!!!
JEZZAH: O_O
GUY: O_O;;;;;
GUY: Slinks away and is no longer sparkly

Yaaan masyado kasing pa-cute.  x_x

Nevertheless, I resumed my voyage because my real reason for going to the mall was to purchase a new pair of earphones, and not to witness morons at their finest or to become an inadvertent heroine. So I canvassed at PC shops, Popcom, Abenson, and ended up in--where else--CDR King. I really think I just 'canvassed' for the heck of it: I know in my gut I was bound for CDR King in the end.

I also bought a new SIM. I had the spare phone fixed so that people won't have to resort to seeking carrier pigeons or lighting up beacons when they want to communicate with me and I'm not home. Balik 3310 ito. Classy.

Err, wala lang speaking of cellphones, I have a kind of buried resentment towards this certain someone because I think she believes me to have nicked her phone. I can't really blame her, because if I was in her place, I'd blame me as well. I was the one in her company she knew least when she lost it, but it's just too unfair because the accusation was unspoken, so I never got the chance to defend my self.

It's really offensive, her presumption. It's just so upsetting because I've always tried my best to be honest and fair, and because people's trust matter to me so much.

Anyway, ito nga pala number ko mga friends: 09223509915. Sa mga sun diyan, text niyo ko. Unlimited call and text ako for 7 days. ;)

Sorry if my entries are so random. I'm trying to create as many entries as I can before classes start, so I'm writing whatever pops into my head, and I'm too lazy to employ coherence.

This song makes me want to don a tutu, pirouette, and be generally classy. Download it over at LimeWire and experience the fun of singing with glottal stops.

I need a new pair of earphones. Really, I'm the gadget slaughterer. I managed to mess up the buttons on my MP3 player within a week because of reading too much ebooks, and now my earphones are spluttering and dying at random intervals because I tend to pull and tug at them and because I crush them in my sleep. I am just really incapable of handling things with care. (because = my new favorite word)

That's why it never fails to amaze me that I'm actually studying to become a nurse. And I'm already in my third year. Third year, dammit. Eighteen-hour duties, orthopedic centers, and mental hospitals, HERE I COME! I'm armed with...organizer! And chutzpah!

(Yes, I actually bought an organizer because I acknowledge that I can no longer procrastinate as much as I did in the previous years, unless I'm bent on killing myself or creating one hellacious year.)

Good luck sa ating lahat!

Everything is connected to everything else -- bear that in mind while reading this post. I refuse to believe that my thoughts are nonlinear and fragmented and thus are underdeveloped and very retarded. I say I'm awesome: I've totally trounced that sudoku puzzle a while ago, AND IT'S 5/5 IN DIFFICULTY LEVEL, 5/5 DAMMIT, AND I WON SO REALLY I MUST BE BRILLIANT YO!

Err. Sorry, it was my first time to play sudoku, and given my operatic tendencies, it is natural to get overexcited and smug over the resounding victory.

Anyway, Club Manila East with Anne and Jyka was fun. I was kind of anxious about it at first since I don't remember having really talked to Jyka in a friendly manner in high school because clearly my extreme loserness repels The Cool People. But it really was enjoyable, and I'm very, very grateful. Anne, grabe, you're the best and I looove you! =D

Here are pictures. Ninakaw ko yan kay Anne dahil wala na nga ang aking napakagandang camphone. Anne, sorry at thank you in advance. ^_^;Ahem, I did tweak the dimensions of most pictures because I'm considerate to those who use dial up (I'm talking about you Pinky). For more pics, go to Anne's multiply.

I currently have sunburn (how interesting). I was itching and red all over, and at first I panicked at the thought of microorganisms (!!!) because I never get sunburn -- have you seen my skin and my obviously abundant melanin? Sunburns are for  the delicate and white! And so it was a startling discovery. And so the sun does penetrate my dark, dark skin. Really, this is the perfect opportunity to go praning over skin cancer.

Also, since this is the first time I've ever got sunburned, clearly the greenhouse effect has gone through the roof (whut?). Man, global warming is terrifying. We'll soon roast to death at this rate. Something must be done.