jezzah (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} zzah) wrote,@ 2008-12-23 00:57:00 |
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hello to you, and merry christmas!
***
i never had any intention to write about...this. maybe it's because i don't want people's pity. maybe it's because i resent our situation too much. maybe it's because i'm afraid people will not understand and laugh. or maybe it's because i'm vain - utterly and lethally proud - and i don't want people to think any less of me. because i already DO feel kind of less, and i hate it.
i realize now that i should've written about it a long time ago. i also realize that i have really, really stupid ideas some of the time.
hello, i'm jezzah and we're really very poor. i'm trying my best to function as best as i can, and i'm trying to overcome my baser, more materialistic and whiny nature. i think i really am getting stronger, and i hope to someday find meaning in all this mess.
i hope you guys a meaningful christmas!
Contentment
“at this rate we’ll have to
wear the same clothes
until we’re eighty-five,
and move to a tiny, tiny house
with no indoor plumbing,
“we’ll bathe out in the rain
and jog daily to school.
also, please prepare for
the eventual and inevitable
selling of your kidneys,
“someday we’ll discover
which among our neighbors’
shrubbery or pets or persons
will give us less indigestion,”
you were ranting wildly as usual, and i -
- i can’t help but smile, because
i find the cannibalism jokes funny,
and the Christmas chill made us huddle close,
and we have never been poorer,
or felt more content.
“at this rate we’ll have to
wear the same clothes
until we’re eighty-five,
and move to a tiny, tiny house
with no indoor plumbing,
“we’ll bathe out in the rain
and jog daily to school.
also, please prepare for
the eventual and inevitable
selling of your kidneys,
“someday we’ll discover
which among our neighbors’
shrubbery or pets or persons
will give us less indigestion,”
you were ranting wildly as usual, and i -
- i can’t help but smile, because
i find the cannibalism jokes funny,
and the Christmas chill made us huddle close,
and we have never been poorer,
or felt more content.
***
i never had any intention to write about...this. maybe it's because i don't want people's pity. maybe it's because i resent our situation too much. maybe it's because i'm afraid people will not understand and laugh. or maybe it's because i'm vain - utterly and lethally proud - and i don't want people to think any less of me. because i already DO feel kind of less, and i hate it.
i realize now that i should've written about it a long time ago. i also realize that i have really, really stupid ideas some of the time.
hello, i'm jezzah and we're really very poor. i'm trying my best to function as best as i can, and i'm trying to overcome my baser, more materialistic and whiny nature. i think i really am getting stronger, and i hope to someday find meaning in all this mess.
i hope you guys a meaningful christmas!
