Happy November, oh internet of my heart. I have many exciting things to tell you.

The first and most important is a very happy thing. On Friday I went onto twitter, where I am www.twitter.com/sarahreesbrenna, as an oppressive twitter system denies me my last, delicious 'n.' And I saw people were congratulating me.

Since I had not even managed to get dressed for the day and was indeed cocooned in a fuzzy blanket, this struck me as odd.

When someone told me that The Demon's Lexicon had been nominated for a Carnegie award, I became hopelessly entangled in my blanket and almost fell down.

The Carnegie Medal is the British equivalent of the Newbery and the National Book Award. Richard Adams won it for Watership Down. Margaret Mahy, being a writing goddess, has won it twice. It is indeed an honour to be nominated, especially in the company of such people as Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman, Laurie Halse Anderson, and R.J. Anderson for her awesome book Knife.

When you have a book out, you spend a lot of time trying to find out what people think. A bad internet review can make you lie down in the floor cuddling a cup of hot chocolate and murmuring 'You are my only friend, Mr Cuplington.' (All right, maybe that's just me.) So something like this just transformed my day, and made me wander around in a daze of joy all weekend.

My book. Nominated for a Carnegie. Mr Cuplington and I are so happy.

In other news, Cassandra Clare's lovely fansite Mundie Moms have been so very kind as to make Demon's Lexicon their Book of the Month. There's a forum up where people are already discussing it, and on November the 12th, 9 PM EST, there will be an online chat. I will put up the link to it in this post on the day - hope to talk to some of you then!

And a present for you all: here is the first chapter of the second book, The Demon's Covenant, which will also be up on the website very soon. I hope you enjoy!

( The Demon's Covenant, Chapter One )

Okay, you know what? I've held out for nearly three and a half months now, but I am nearly at my breaking point (even though we are now in the home stretch). I am SICK of not having my own computer to work on. There are huge disadvantages to sharing a computer that you just really don't even think of until you have to do it yourself. I HATE logging out of everything every time I walk away from the computer, because the hell I'm leaving my email accounts vulnerable to prying eyes. And on your average day? I need to be logged into LJ, JournalFen, Yahoo email, Gmail (with Reader and Documents), Twitter, Delicious for bookmarks, Pandora, a couple of message boards, and my file storage account; my life would be infinitely easier if I could just stay logged in. So I HATE dumping the cache and the cookies and the browsing history and even the SEARCH history if I so much as duck out for a glass of tea, and I HAVE to do it, because you know why? You know why? Researching the @#$%*&@ e-book footnotes, that's why. If I didn't, you'd go to the Google drop-down search box and get "bella's felted womb," "dead from coke," "edward lipstick," "gq motherfucker," "total eclipse sex scene," 5000 Twilight articles, and "twincest." And there is NO WAY I am letting my family know I spent that much time looking up shit about Twilight.

I can't do a whole hell of a lot on this computer either, since it's like eight years old as it is--in excellent condition, but it's only got 30GB storage, you know? You can infer from that what the processor thingamawhatever speed must be like. It just can't do a lot. It can't handle Skype, for example. And I don't have any of my pet programs (Semagic for LJ, TweetDeck, ACDSee photo organizing, and probably a ton of others I've forgotten because IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE USED THEM), because the computer either can't handle a given program or it can't handle them all together. And we THOUGHT it had Photoshop, but apparently not, and while I'm pretty handy on that, I apparently am too stupid to operate MS Paint. People keep telling me how to crop and I just. can't. manage it. And then I go back to Firefox and accidentally hit "home" instead of "new tab" and I lose my entire LJ entry draft, because whenever it tries to recover a "saved" draft, it gives me the previous entry I already posted. HATRED.

And then I can't really save images (no room, plus other people looking at my shit) or watch videos (I hate being walked in on while I'm trying to watch whatever weird-ass thing someone just linked on Twitter. Mostly I just don't have time because I'm under the gun to get anything done before someone else needs the computer), assuming I could get the video to work at all. Because I physically can't get time at the computer as much as I'd like, my Google Reader news items just sit and pile up, so every morning I have "1000+," and one day I cleared 600 items and STILL had 1000+. I keep having to star things I want to go back and use in the footnotes or save pictures from, and I am TIRED OF IT.

If I didn't have the iBella--which at least has a camera, an mp3 player, and apps for Twitter, Pandora and my email that I DON'T HAVE TO LOG OUT OF--I would have gone insane by now. The day I figured out how to copy-paste links on my phone, I nearly wept for joy. Even there, I can't really answer emails or LJ comments at any length--if it's going to be a short reply, I can tap it out with a minimum of head-meeting-wall, but y'all know how wordy I am. We get to more than two sentences and I just can't manage it; I have to wait to answer until I get to the (shared) (family) computer. And then I have to log into umpteen thousand things all over again but then someone else needs the computer RIGHT NOW and I have to dump everything and hope no one noticed that I was at that moment searching "vampire sex toys." Oh, and blip.fm just doesn't work on the iPhone at all. RAAAAAAAGE.

Only one more week until [New Computer's Name] arrives. I will console myself with a peppermint chocolate chip milkshake from Chick-fil-A, I think.


(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Just in case some of you may not have been able to read it:

Premium Harmony

 After two weeks na drama, good news came. Hindi pa 100% na good news pero something that made me smile. I got a part-time job. :) At least, I am semi-unemployed. :) While waiting for the right job, I'm going to work hard for my part-time job! :) Finally, mababayaran ko na ang dress at makakapagshopping na ako. Yes, I'm ready for heels. Good luck! <3 Tama na muna ang drama!

I have landed safely in New York. scifantasy was kind enough to collect me from the airport, and explained many interesting things about fair use during the trip. I am in Jersey City, and we are about to leave for the Apple Store, which is why this post is neither lengthy nor terribly informative.

Back later, please do not burn down the Internet. (Quoth scifantasy, "And if you let Missus O'Grady's cow kick over that lantern again...")

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/2009/11/sunday-secrets_07.html

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people
mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard.

















See More Secrets. Follow PostSecret on Twitter.




-----Email Message-----

I met someone who felt the same way, but I remember him more for being strong enough to change. From him I learned that people are more than their mistakes.


-----Email Message-----

Many years ago, an older man that I trusted had inappropriate sexual contact with me. Twelve years of therapy and a suicide attempt later, and I still live with it every day.

A big part of me will forever be defined by the worst thing that ever happened to me.

























-----Email Message-----

I am a prisoner of my own indecision.




Order Your Copy Today






-----Email Message (pic)-----

Point the first: I have drawn the winner for the first A Local Habitation giveaway! I literally do this by feeding the number of comments into a random number generator, and then counting (this is very laborious, but worth it). So our first winner is...

asthecrowfly!

Please email me—DO NOT use the LJ messenger function—with your mailing address. I will be mailing the ARC out after I get home from New York (so next week).

Point the second: I am about to shut down my computer, get into the car, go to the airport, and fly to New York City. I'll be online in the evenings, and may even be online from the plane, since I'm going to need distractions while in the air. I have a lot of writing planned for the actual transit portion of the trip, and a lot of business meetings planned while in New York. I'm going to be Seanan and Mira this time. Fun for the whole family. Plus, The Agent is taking me to Serendipity 3. Mmmmmm, frozen hot chocolate.

Point the third: Coyote has decided that I depend too much on modern technology, and my iPod has died. Hard. Like, I spent half an hour on the phone with Apple technical support, and finally got told "I think it's your hardware." No shit, Sherlock. Anyway, I'm going to go to an Apple Store in Manhattan, where hopefully they'll say something like "gee, this is still under warranty, have a new one." If not, I'm going to sell one of Brooke's kidneys (again) or something, because my mental health really hinges on having portable music, and I no longer have my faithful old Sony Discman (it died quite some time ago). My housemate has loaned me his iPod for the duration of my trip, largely, I think, because he was afraid I might eat him if he didn't.

And that's the news from California. There will be more contests and ARC giveaways in the months to come, including the first contest proposed by The Agent, and I'll let you know when I reach New York alive.

A question from one of the ARC contest winners, stephanieburgis: I'd love to read about your favorite books (because I am a total book geek).

Here's my current top ten list, which is shockingly lacking in YA titles. Most of these books have been on this list for years before I started writing/reading YA.


High Fidelity by Nick Hornby: My all-time favorite book, which I actually read for my first literature class in college. I know it's allegedly a "guy book," but I strongly identify with Rob and I think everything about this novel is spot on perfect. Perfect. I loved the movie version too (hello, Joan Cusack). I read every new Hornby novel with great anticipation but so far none of his other books have hit me so intensely.

Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg: My favorite non-fiction book on writing. My high school literary arts teacher was quite fond of this book and liked to use it during class, so I became quite fond of it too. I like to open to a random chapter whenever I'm in a rut.

The Death of the Heart by Elizabeth Bowen: Picked at random to read for my summer reading assignment in AP 12th grade English, and it was the basis for my senior thesis on innocence vs experience in British literature. Every character in this novel is so vivid and tragic, and it has one of my favorite closing paragraphs ever.

The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien: I wouldn't have thought I would love a book of war stories, but O'Brien's writing is so amazing. The last chapter broke my heart. I read this in bed with my current boyfriend while he watched Saving Private Ryan, which I refused to watch because...I don't like war movies.

The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger: Read during the Dark Days of 2007, this unconventional love story really got me. Even though the details of their relationship are pretty extraordinary, it all felt very real.

The Dogs of Babel by Carolyn Parkhurst: Another book from the Dark Days. It was so sad and dark, and it fit into a little place in my heart.

The Stand by Stephen King: I was a Stephen King fiend at age 11, and this remained my favorite book for years. It's also one of the few books to make my cry. Someone once said that Stephen King is too popular and prolific to be taken seriously in his lifetime, and I completely agree. He's a brilliant writer.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera: Another of those "right book at the right time" sort of experiences, read back in '03 or '04 when I was in a sad codependent relationship.

What's Eating Gilbert Grape by Peter Hedges: The cast of characters was incredible, and I loved the small town setting. Pretty much hated the movie, though.

(I'm tragically bumping Hemingway off the list to make room for one YA)

The Possibility of Fireflies by Dominique Paul: The ending was a little too neat for me, but otherwise I loved loved loved this book about a young teen girl growing up in the 80s with divorced parents, a wild older sister, and a mysteriously alluring neighbor boy.

Damn telephone line! We lost our dsl...again.

What's the problem with our phone line?

Mom called to PLDT again and we need an immediate fix. I can't use my yahoo mail for now. My professor sent files through my email but it failed. She said that I should open my yahoo within two weeks. And our line is busted for about a week! And I didn't visit my mail for a while before our line break. How am I suppose to finish my articles that is due....today? Our newspaper is very very late. We need to finish this ASAP!

My sembreak is really boring. not a little horror experiences, unlike last year, that my Mom smells of someones been drunk. She told us our deceased Grandpa visited us. It's his 8th death anniversary.

Yesterday is our enrollment. I enrolled all of my subjects, and that includes practice teaching. Hope I won't get nervous in front of kids/ or teens.

Next time!

There has once again been a massive influx of people, due to the fact that Alice is adorable—welcome, massive influx of people; it's nice to meet you, although I realize half of you will leave again as you realize that this isn't the all-kitten-doing-weird-stuff, all-the-time channel, and that's fine—I have decided to once again do the abbreviated "here are ten things you might want to know" version of the periodic welcome post. So here it is. Ta-da! (As a footnote, Alice is aware of your worship, and was puffy all over my face at 2AM last night.)

***

1. My name is Seanan McGuire; I'm an author, musician, poet, cartoonist, and amiable nutcase, presently living in Northern California, planning to relocate to Washington at some point in the next few years. I am a very chatty person, whether you're talking literally "we're in the same place" chattiness, or more abstract "someone has left Seanan alone with a keyboard, run for the hills" chattiness. This does not, paradoxically, make me terribly good about keeping up with email or answering comments in anything that resembles a reasonable fashion. We all have our flaws. Luckily for my agent's sanity, I am very good about making my deadlines.

2. My name is pronounced "SHAWN-in", although a great many people elect to pronounce it "SHAWN-anne" instead. Either is fine with me. I went to an event where we all got name tags once, and the person making the name tags was a "SHAWN-anne" person, who proceeded to label me as "Shawn Anne McGuire". I choose to believe that Shawn Anne is my alter-ego from a universe where, instead of becoming an author, I chose to become a country superstar. She wears a great many rhinestones, because they're sparkly, and she can get away with it. Just don't call me "See-an-an" and we'll be fine.

3. I write: urban fantasy, horror, young adult, supernatural romance, and straight chick-lit romance. I occasionally threaten to write medical thrillers, but everyone knows that's just so I'd have an excuse to take more epidemiology courses. I love me a good plague. I believe that editing is a full-contact sport, complete with penalty boxes, illegal checking, and team pennants. My editing team is the Fighting Pumpkins. We're going all the way to the WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS this year, bay-bee!

4. I find it useful to keep a record of the status of my various projects, both because it warms the little Type-A cockles of my heart, and because it helps people who need to know what's going on know, well, what's going on. So you'll see word counts and editing updates go rolling by if you stick around, as well as more generalized complaining about the behavior of fictional people. I am told this is entertaining. I am also told that this is possibly a sign of madness. I don't know.

5. I currently publish both as myself, and as my own evil twin, Mira Grant. My first book under my own name, Rosemary and Rue [Amazon]|[Mysterious Galaxy], came out from DAW in September 2009. The sequel, A Local Habitation [Amazon]|[Mysterious Galaxy], is coming out in March 2010, also from DAW. Mira's first book, Feed [Amazon]|[Mysterious Galaxy], will be out from Orbit in May 2010. I don't get very much sleep.

6. I am a musician! More specifically, I'm a filk musician. If you know filk, this statement makes total sense. If you don't know filk, think "the folk music of the science fiction and fantasy community"—or you can check out the music FAQ on my website. I have three CDs available: Pretty Little Dead Girl, Stars Fall Home, and Red Roses and Dead Things. I'm currently recording a fourth CD, Wicked Girls, which will be out sometime in 2010. I write mostly original material, and don't spend much time in ParodyLand. It just doesn't work out for me.

7. Things I find absolutely enthralling: giant squid. Plush dinosaurs. Siamese and Maine Coon cats. Zombies. The plague. Pandemic flu. Horror movies of all quality levels. Horror television. Science Fictional Channel Original Movies. Shopping for used books. Halloween. Marvel comics. Candy corn. Carnivorous plants. Pumpkin cake. Stephen King. The Black Death. Pandemic disease of all types. Learning how to say horrifying things in American Sign Language. Diet Dr Pepper.

8. Things I find absolutely horrifying: slugs. Big spiders dropping down from the ceiling and landing on me because ew. Bell peppers. Rice. Movies that consist largely of car chases and do not contain a satisfying amount of carnage. Animal cruelty. People who go hiking on mountain trails in Northern California and freak out over a little rattlesnake. Most sitcoms. A large percentage of modern advertising. Diet Chocolate Cherry Dr Pepper.

9. I am owned by two cats: a classic bluepoint Siamese named Lillian Kane Moskowitz Munster McGuire, and a blue classic tabby and white Maine Coon named Alice Price-Healy Little Liddel Abernathy McGuire. Yes, I call them that, usually when they've been naughty. The rest of the time, they're respectively "Lilly" or "Lil," and either "Alice" or "Ally." I'm planning to get a Sphynx, eventually, when the time comes to expand to having a third cat.

10. I frequently claim to be either a Disney Halloweentown princess or Marilyn Munster. These claims are more accurate than most people realize. Although I wasn't animated in Pasadena.

***

Welcome!

Depression, I have often said, is like an influenza of the soul. A spiritual hamthrax, if you will. I has it. Do not want.

It's actually starting to worry me a little, the intensity of this go-round--it's not the usual stone-cold ennui. Normally I'm not this bad off until after New Year's (well, except for the pity party I throw myself every year in the weeks leading up to my birthday), and, again: that's more of a seasonal apathy-funk. This involves a lot of dread and distress and, at times, actual panic involved. I have to think this is because things are just generally bad around here at the moment, and have been for a good while now. Two different family members are having job-related crises, for example. I'm having performance anxiety in terms of trying to write, I don't have a dependable place to work, I'm just generally very unhappy. But it's taking on a hysterical edge that makes me uncomfortable--I keep having urges to act out in some way. I don't mean harm myself or anyone else; I mean, like, throw a gigantic melodramatic fit du shit. I know I had that minor meltdown where I started throwing shit earlier this summer, but that is the ONLY TIME IN MY LIFE I have ever done anything like that. So I'm not used to having the urge to, like, flounce from the internet for the hell of it or something. And that's why I'm sitting here talking about it so calmly, because I feel like the only way to combat irrationality is with detachment. Take an overview of the thing, recognize what you're doing, shove it into the light of day. So... yeah.

(By the way, laptop has been ordered; money has cleared checking account. It will take about two weeks from November 3rd for Dell to build and ship it, what with the custom art and the crazy-ass 17" facial recognition screen. I don't even know. I spent a ridiculous, extravagant amount of money because I could, and it felt GOOD.)

A little Twi-spam for the hell of it, since Sparklemas is fast approaching:

( T-REX, VAMPIRES CAN HAVE KIDS AND LITTLE DINOSAUR VAMPIRES SOUNDS PRETTY CUTE TO ME )


(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Remember, folks, I'm going to be doing a random drawing on Saturday to win an advance reader's copy (ARC) of A Local Habitation. You could get your hands on the second Toby book months before release day! And all you have to do is...

...click this link and leave a comment.

Seriously, that's all. Just don't leave your comment on this post, since no comments made on this post will be fed into the random number generator. Leave your comment on this post over here. Not this post. This other post.

Good luck!

The empire strikes back

In recent weeks, we've taken huge steps towards blocking spam accounts on LiveJournal. In fact, we've suspended as many as 30,000 accounts in a single day! We've implemented several pre-emptive measures to prevent the creation of spam accounts, and we've honed our detection of suspicious content. Spam bots are a crafty lot, so we'll continue to refine our tactics and keep up the good fight to keep you safe from spam attacks on LiveJournal.

RSS feeds again

If you're addicted to xkcd_rss, icanhaschzbrgr, or other syndicated feeds, we're pleased to report that we've resolved the update error that was mucking up your RSS feeds. While content was being pulled correctly, it wasn't being posted to the feeds themselves. Late last week, we finally nailed down what we hope was the root problem, so content should post properly. We thank you for your patience.

Wii have killer CSI Deadly Intent contests!

c_s_i

If you're a gamer who loves CSI, have Wii got news for you! c_s_i is sponsoring killer contests. Simply post a question to a member of the CSI crew. The winner will get a free copy of CSI: Deadly Intent for Nintendo Wii (with a retail value of $39.99) and get their question answered by a member of the CSI writing team! There's also a fantastic monthly contest. To enter, join c_s_i, play the online version of CSI: Deadly Intent, and respond to a two-part query for a chance to win a Wii! Entries will be judged on composition and originality. Sorry, but you must be a U.S. resident and over 18 years old to participate. Check out the rules here.

Enveloped in postcards

Last week, we asked you to send in postcards to help us decorate our drab concrete walls. Here's a photo of the results so far! Thank you so much and please keep them coming! You can mail them to Frank the Goat, Esq., c/o LiveJournal, Inc., 539 Bryant Street, Suite 210, San Francisco, CA 94107. Be sure to include your username, since we'll be giving ten random users paid account credits.

Photos of the week

If you haven't visited our new LiveJournal photo community, you're in for an amazing visual trip. LiveJournal users from around the world will take you on a scenic journey to everywhere. Post your own pictures or kick back and enjoy at lj_photophile. You can view some of this week's awesome photos after the jump. Please start tagging with geographic location, since we'd like to track all the places around the world represented in this community. Keep on commenting too!
( Read more... )

I am a professional. I am aware of what is and is not appropriate conversation for polite company (although I sometimes forget when the topics of "pandemic disease" or "zombies" come up; sadly, I can be goaded into gleeful explanations of latency and droplet-based transmission just about anywhere, including the dinner table). I wear real grown-up shoes when I have to take business meetings, and I have a calm, measured telephone voice.

All this being said, there's a reason I don't usually take phone calls in my house.

The Agent called to discuss my upcoming trip to New York, during which we're going to be doing several dinner-type things, some meeting-type things, and a lot of hanging out. During our forty-minute or so discussion, she was treated to...

"Ow! Ow ow OW! Goddammit, Alice, get your claws out of my fucking leg!"
"No. No, you can't have that. No, that isn't yours. No."
"Get off of there! Jesus, cat, I swear, I will skin you."
"I can get new cats, you know. Better cats. Smaller cats. Cats that don't do that."
"Alice, give back my bra."
"I'm serious, Alice. Give me back my damn bra."
"THAT'S MY FUCKING BRA, CAT!"
"Okay, I give up. Just do whatever the fuck you want."

...all while we were having a serious business discussion. I swear, the fact that she hasn't drowned me and put me out of her misery is something of a miracle.

So the fabulous Mia, of chimera_fancies, is one of the most talented fairy tale jewelry makers I know. Her pieces are unique works of art, made from recycled books and magically transformed into something far greater than the sum of its parts. I own more than a few of her pendants. I'm going to wind up owning more than a few more. You've heard all this before. So why am I saying it again?

Because she has a pendant sale coming up, probably starting on or around November 18th (I'll post the exact date as soon as I have it, and so will she). Not just any pendant sale, incredible as her work is. An extra-special, extra-collectible pendant sale. Because, you see, she got her hands on an ARC of Rosemary and Rue. ARCs are not intended for resale; they're transitory things, unable to stand up to the stress of multiple re-readings. So Mia, mindful of the ARC's tragically short lifespan, took and transformed it into more than fifty gorgeous pieces of wearable art. I'm very serious. These pendants are some of the best work I've ever seen from her. She's growing as an artist with every piece she does, and for this set, she really busted out all the stops.

All pendants have been signed by me, in either black or silver Sharpie, depending on the base color. The exact method of pendant sale will be determined by Mia; it may be the random pick method she used for the Halloween sale, it may be something else, but either way, it'll be posted on her journal before the actual sale begins. All pendants will be $22, which includes postage.

These really are incredible. I couldn't be happier, or feel more honored, to be working with someone who does such amazing things.

My copy of Electric Ant arrived! 





You can buy it from here: http://electricantzine.com/





I made it to the back cover.



Awww yeah!


Also: look, here are the packages I sent y'all




I have been dipping in and out of this thing on the bus to work, and there's a really interesting article about the Takarazuka Revue in Japan - the all-female form of theatre that informs the sensibilities of a vast chunk of japanese comic books. If you've ever wondered why even the dudes in japanese comics look like girls, Takarazuka theatre is kind of the rosetta stone to understanding about that. There's also a lot- a LOT- of amazing art by some of my favorite people, like deforgeo , Hellen Jo, and Derek Yu, and a collaboration by Anthony Ha and Anthony Wu, forming a creative team which if they've not at least once thought about calling 'WuHa' then something is up.  All in all, i give it three thumbs up. Recommended!

Oh yeah, and see some more work I did for the zine here: http://blog.electricantzine.com/maybe-next-issue-of-electric-ant-zine-should

So I heard this song on Pandora and the chorus got stuck in my head, so finally I went to iTunes and bought it. (By the way--if you buy a song on your phone, how do you get it over to the iTunes on your computer? Because I'd really like for the sync process to not erase it.) So I'm sort of head-tossing and shoulder-dancing along with it while I'm writing in my journal like the thirteen-year-old I so entirely am. You know, as you do. The lyrics were a bit creepy in an obsessive/submissive way-- ( ... wait )

The last week or so has been jam-packed with Do Not Want, so I'm going to link you to all of it so that everyone else, in turn, can stop sending the links to me.

Sugar Daddy Ken. This is absolutely a real Mattel product. They claim the dog's name is Sugar, and thus Ken is "Sugar's daddy," but I think we all know what's going on here. Also: They AGED the Ken's face. I didn't even know you could DO THAT.

A closer look at/review of Sparkle Ken. I think Sugar Daddy Ken might be interested in this.

The Succu-Dry. Not safe for work or, I suspect, penises. That said, the combination of wordplay and vulgarity has resulted in the most magnificent product name I have ever seen.

The Panties. Not safe for brains. Do not click this link. I am so incredibly serious. Do not click this, you have so much to live for. But I have to post it so people will stop sending it to me. Yes, it's worse than Bella's Felted Womb. It will destroy your faith in whatever deity you do or do not believe in. Let us never speak of this again.

And finally, in a revival of our beloved Uwe Boll Slot: Uwe Boll. Darfur. Actual rape victims. I don't see how this could possibly go wrong!


(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Recently, I picked up a book that looked interesting. It hit many of my "sweet spots" for plot, description, and cover blurbs from people I trust. The cover didn't do it any favors, featuring, as it did, a generic Urban Fantasy Hot Girl standing in a Playboy circa-1984 pose, but I've enjoyed books with way worse covers. I entered the text in good faith.

By page two, I was ready to fling the book across the room. Why? Because the author had chosen to scramble the spelling of a common-to-the-genre word in a way that made it look not only pretentious, but difficult to read. This is a personal bug-a-boo of mine, since I really do feel that spelling was standardized for a reason, and while I managed to soldier through, it colored my ability to sink into the text for several chapters.

(As an aside, seriously: not all words become more interesting and mysterious when spelled with a vestigial "y." The worst example I've ever seen was in a YA series full of "mermyds," and the fact that I made it through all three volumes is a testament to the power of raw stubborn.)

One reader of Rosemary and Rue posted a lengthy, positive review, more than half of which was taken up by complaints about the pronunciation guide. Specifically, I didn't write down the correct pronunciation of "Kitsune." It's a fair cop—if you pronounce the word as written in the pronunciation guide, you'll be saying it wrong—and it's been corrected for A Local Habitation, but it was, for this person, as bad as if I'd spelled Toby's name "Aughtcober" and then claimed it was pronounced just like the month. Bug-a-boos for all!

Kate recently delivered a long and eloquent diatribe on "back cover buzz-word bingo," which I really wish I'd had a video camera running for, because it was awesome. The summation is that she watches the back covers of books for certain "buzz-words," and, if the book works up to a magical bingo score, she doesn't read it. I do something similar with bad horror movies, since there are specific buzz-words that mean "soft core porn" and "gratuitous torture," and those really aren't what I'm watching the movie to see.

So what are your bug-a-boos? Terribly twisted spelling? Pronunciations that you don't agree with? Buzz-words oozing off the back cover and getting all over your shoes? How about heroines with ruby hair and emerald eyes who aren't appearing in an Amethyst, Princess of Gemworld fanfic epic? Inquiring blondes want to know!

 I illustrated Tim Roger's column at Kotaku.com, 'can videogames be our friends?' The plan is that this is going to be a monthly gig.



Here's Tim in his Mii Plaza, full of identical miis of the same woman which he creates obsessively. I didn't really have the time to make sure this illustration conveyed the emotions I wanted to capture! PROTIP: in a pinch, a black rain cloud with an x in it is a pretty cheap stand-in for "an undefinable sense of 21st century ennui"

Hopefully next month's illo' will be a little less dashed-off. It's funny- even though I busted it out on an extremely quick turnaround, this is the most professional-looking, magazine-y drawing I've done in a while. Turns out the visual tropes that characterize modern magazine illustration are also the devices you employ when you want to make something with as little time or effort as possible. Who knew!

I was intending to make this post yesterday, on the actual two-month anniversary of Rosemary and Rue being released into the wild. Tragically, intentions only count in horseshoes and hand grenades, and my post-World Fantasy exhaustion resulted in my spending the evening watching Supernatural and playing "Plants vs. Zombies." I'm actually not all that sorry. I really needed the rest. All that being said...

Rosemary and Rue has now been available for two full months. People I don't know and never will have bought and read my book. (Sometimes I can tell who doesn't know me, because they call me "Mr. McGuire" in their reviews. I find this adorable.) People have loved it, people have hated it, people have called it original and amazing, people have called it the usual urban fantasy fare. I have stopped having chest pains when suddenly confronted with large book displays. I have stopped having stomach pains when stores had other books in my genre, but didn't have mine. I have, in short, calmed down a lot. Much like a woman who spends a year planning her wedding, then finally realizes she can do other things, I am basically recovered.

Which is good, because now it's time to get ready for A Local Habitation. Which is, I think, a better book than Rosemary and Rue (and I do believe Rosemary and Rue to be a good book; I wouldn't have bothered trying to publish it if I didn't). Rosemary and Rue was the book that established my world, and that means that large chunks of textual real estate did have to go toward making the rules coherent and clear; without the rules, the whole towering palace comes tumbling down. It was also the book that made the largest number of introductions—much like inviting all your friends who've never met to the same cocktail party. A Local Habitation gets to skip all that, and go straight to the "smashing stuff" part of our program. I like smashing stuff.

I have learned a lot about self-promotion, event organization, not taking everything personally, keeping myself pointed in the correct direction, organization of the world in general, and not exhausting myself too much. I have learned that no matter how much I feel like I've thrown my book at everyone in the known universe, there will always be people going "Who are you again?" I have learned that a bad review is not the end of the world, and that a good review is exactly as awesome as I always hoped it would be. I have learned to take the time to breathe.

And now, in a hundred and thirty days, I get to learn all these lessons all over again.

Whee!